Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don’t know where I’m at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done
You say either and I say either
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either, neither, neither
Let’s call the whole thing off
You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto
Let’s call the whole thing off
But, oh, if we call the whole thing off
Then we must part
And, oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you like pajamas and I like pajahmas
I’ll wear pajamas and give up pajahmas
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the whole thing off
Let’s call the whole thing off
You say laughter and I say larfter
You say after and I say arfter
Laughter, larfter, after, arfter
Let’s call the whole thing off
You like vanilla and I like vanella
You sarsaparilla, and I sarsapirella
Vanilla, vanella, chocolate, strawberry
Let’s call the whole thing off
But, oh, if we call the whole thing off, then we must part
And, oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart
So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I’ll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off
Let’s call the whole thing off
I say father, and you say pater
I saw mother and you say mater
Pater, mater, uncle, auntie
Let’s call the whole thing off
I like bananas and you like banahnahs
I say Havana and I get Havahnah
Bananas, banahnahs, Havana, Havahnah
Go your way, I’ll go mine
So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters
So, all right, no contest, we’ll order lobseter
For we know we need each other so we
Better call the calling off off
Let’s call the whole thing off
